Power of Parenting

As your student prepares to come to Bellevue University, talk to them about alcohol use with the help of these resources and valuable information.

Talk isn't cheap.

Research has found that parents can have a powerful influence on a student's successful transition to college life. Talk to your student about alcohol and cannabis/marijuana before they start college, and keep talking to them while they’re here. Your input matters — and helps us set the trend for responsible use of alcohol and abstaining from cannabis/marijuana.

As a parent, you have already done a great job helping your child make better choices. However, your responsibility doesn’t stop just because they’re headed to college. Studies have shown that college students give parents a great deal of credit for guiding them towards less drinking or abstaining from drinking and cannabis/marijuana.

You can ease the transition.

When young adults begin their college experience, they’ll face a number of life changes and new experiences like:

Managing finances
Attending class
Balancing academics with social activities
Deciding whether or not to drink alcohol or use cannabis/marijuana

You can help your student during this transition by communicating your expectations and encouraging them to think through the outcomes of different choices.

Parents also can have an impact on the misperceptions of college life, including alcohol and cannabis/marijuana use, while providing information about campus resources to their student.

Risks, Consequences, and Choices

With modern social media and easy access to the Internet, one of the first tasks an employer will do is "google" them. An arrest record today can impact people in many ways it did not when modern parents were young, ...but that's just one of the risks related to alcohol.

College students navigate many changes during the first year of college, but alcohol and marijuana use is often one of the most challenging to deal with.

Students who believe that most of their peers are drinking alcohol or using marijuana often feel pressure to use up to the same perceived levels, which may result in unwanted and/or dangerous consequences.

Having accurate information helps parents start the conversation with their student, and allows parents to speak with confidence and credibility. It is important to share information with students that dispel the perception that all their peers are using marijuana, drinking, and drinking excessively.

30% of college students across Nebraska report never having consumed alcohol*
Of those respondents who had drank in the past year, 70% of them did not Binge Drink (defined as 5 drinks for men and 4 drinks for women within a 2-hour period)*
Only 25% of Nebraska college students reported using marijuana (in any form) over the past year, compared to the perception that 92% of college students use marijuana (in any form) at least once per year*

When students realize that they’re not alone in either abstaining from or controlling their consumption of alcohol and marijuana they feel more comfortable declining the invitation to use substances.

* 2022 Nebraska Assessment of College Health Behaviors survey

Drinking at Bellevue University

Before coming to campus, students and parents should be familiar with Bellevue University's policies relating to alcohol. Alcohol is allowed in student housing for some legal-age residents. Please see the Student Housing Handbook for specific details.

Bellevue University is a drug and tobacco free campus. This includes all buildings, parking lots, athletic events, and any University sponsored student activity (on or off campus). For a complete review of Bellevue University's policies, please visit the Bellevue University Alcohol and Drug Policy.

Students should also be aware of local laws and policies practiced in Bellevue which may differ from their home communities. The Bellevue Police Department regularly conducts patrols to identify and ticket parties causing disruptions. Bellevue police regularly issue tickets for MIP, DUI and procuring alcohol to minors. Not following campus and community policy could result in a campus code of conduct violation and/or legal ramifications.

On August 30, 2015, Nebraska's Good Samaritan law took effect. This policy encourages individuals to call 911 for medical help when witnessing or experiencing acute alcohol intoxication without the fear of prosecution for minor in possession. The policy provides limited immunity for both the caller and the acutely intoxicated person. The Good Samaritan law is essential to ensuring that people are able to stay alive and receive help when they are in trouble. Please encourage your child to become familiar with the new law and take swift action whenever they are concerned about another person's well-being.

Communication Strategies

When conflict arises, the healthy outcome is two winners. A person’s natural tendency is to fight to win. Remember, talking about alcohol with your student should not be a fight or a battle of wills, or a conflict with opposing sides. It should be a discussion about values, safety, love, and respect. When this happens, there are only winners - regardless of what is said. When a parent goes into a conversation with this in mind, it creates the kind of environment where there will be only winners.

Your student needs to be reminded that you’re on their side. Because they’re adults and moving on to college, family rules are more difficult to enforce. Setting one-sided rules and punishments is counterproductive. Engaging in a dialogue about common goals and how each of you can help attain these goals will be more effective for your student's transitions into adulthood than rules and punishments would be.

Agree to temporarily disengage from interacting if either person becomes emotional or punitive. Wait until both of you can talk in a calm, direct fashion. When the discussion turns into an argument or becomes emotional, explain that it’s best to calm down and start the discussion later.

Permit your student to speak without interruption. Listen to what they say, and don’t go into the conversation with an agenda. Be open and receptive to what’s said and respond to the things that you’re hearing — not the things you think need to be talked about.

College-aged students are notorious for one-word responses. Using closed-ended questions encourages those. Instead, use questions that begin with words like, “What do you think...?” or “How...?”.

Judiciously avoid talking about vulnerabilities or emotional sensitivities. If a conflict arises, it’s sometimes tempting to point out past behavior. However, now is not the time. This ruins communication and ultimately hurts your relationship with your child.

Whenever you can and whenever it’s appropriate, convey respect to your student. Phrases like “I’m proud of you the way you...” or “I’ve always admired that about you.” are great ways to confer respect. By conferring respect, you are acknowledging that your child is becoming an adult while you are developing an adult relationship with them.

Be willing to admit you are wrong and apologize. No one is perfect. If you’re willing to acknowledge a mistake or be self-critical, students see that as a sign of strength and approachability. Saying you’re sorry is a way of showing that you care. Don’t blame others, rather accept responsibility for your actions.

When opportunities arise, don’t hesitate to give genuine compliments to your student. This is also a good time to verbalize respect. When students feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to open up and confide in you. This also shows them that you believe in them and trust them.

Sometimes conversations become structured so that people must defend their positions. The entire conversation degenerates into a mini-debate in which each person is looking for weaknesses in the other person’s argument. Try to keep the conversation productive and goal-directed. Don’t get side-tracked by the details of each other’s statements.

Limit discussion to only the issue at hand. Make good eye contact and show that you are listening.

Choose an optimal time to bring up and discuss issues. Don’t do it when either of you is rushed or has another commitment at the moment.

Strategies for Success

Prior to your student’s first year, they’ll be asked to complete an online program called the Year One College Behavior Profile (Y1CBP). This will provide them with some feedback about the choices, risks, and consequences of drinking, using marijuana and other substances. It will also help to correct misperceptions about social norms and peer perceptions of acceptable behaviors on campus. Part of this training will offer specific suggestions about how to avoid high-risk drinking. We want you to know what they’ll be taught here, so you can add to or reinforce those strategies. Review the strategies you can use to talk to your student about how they can manage situations to be safe. It is best to choose a couple of strategies based on what you know about your student.

Make sure your student has a plan to suggest some activities with friends instead of drinking or using marijuana.

If your student typically converses with a lot of humor, advise them to use it to think of things to say that can get them out of a bad situation. Encourage them to make humorous statements on their own, so it’s something they feel confident in.

Students often report holding a drink but not actually drinking it. This trick helps so others will leave them alone and not pressure them to drink something.

Have your student talk with a friend before the party to share a plan to stay safe. Encourage them to ask their friend to help make sure they both stick to the plan.

Most underage drinking occurs at parties, and in most cases, your student knows that alcohol will be at the party. Students may also be more likely to use cannabis/marijuana in social situations. They need to have a plan for how they’re going to deal with the situation, so they’ll stay safe.

Suggest your student has a plan for how to get home if there’s no one at the party who has not been drinking or using marijuana/cannabis or if they’re in a situation they feel is unsafe.

Question the other person about their intentions. Effective phrases to set clear ad firm boundaries include:

"Why are you trying so hard to make me do something I don't want to do?"
"But I told you, no, I'm not going to do that."
"Stop pressuring me.""
"What kind of friend are you to keep pressuring me? Back off."

One of the most important ways for your student to stay safe is to develop assertiveness. Whether it’s related to being assertive and standing firm in their plans for how to deal with being offered alcohol or in how much they’ll drink, assertiveness will help minimize the risks they’ll have.

Know what a standard serving of alcohol is.
Know your limits, stick to them, and stay in control.
Determine how many drinks to have and stop at your number.
Eat right before and while drinking.
Don't mix alcohol with marijuana or other substances.
Limit yourself to one drink an hour. Remember, shots take about 20 minutes to hit.
Drink a non-alcoholic "spacer" between drinks and stay hydrated.
Check if any medications you're taking interact badly with alcohol.
Don’t drink if you have a strong family history of alcoholism.
Drink for quality, not quantity (a 6-pack of imported or micro beer).
Be aware of your situation. If you feel unsafe, leave.
Watch your drinks while being made and after. Never leave your drink alone, even if you only have a soft drink.

Be the designated driver.
Be a role model for your friends.
Know and respond to alcohol poisoning.
Never leave an intoxicated person alone.
If you are concerned about the physical well-being of a friend who is overly intoxicated, call 911. The Nebraska Good Samaritan Law gives minors limited legal immunity if they call for medical assistance, remain on the scene and cooperate with law enforcement and the University Diversion Policy provides an option for the setting aside of the Code of Conduct violation.

Avoid using daily or almost daily.
Be sure you trust your source. You might not know the purity or potency of the cannabis/marijuana you are taking.
Don't mix marijuana/cannabis with alcohol or other substances. Using two or more drugs at the same time can amplify the impairing effects of each drug.
Be honest with yourself about why you want to use marijuana/cannabis, especially if you are using it socially or to cope with stress. Talking with someone, such as a friend or counselor about what you are experiencing is a better alternative to using marijuana/cannabis to mask negative emotions.
Find healthier ways to deal with stress, such as daily exercise, practicing yoga, listening to music, meditating, or learning relaxation techniques.
Understand that marijuana/cannabis use can make anxiety and stress worse and lead to poor sleep quality, irritability, and depression. Marijuana/cannabis use may also increase the risk of psychotic symptoms for those with a pre-existing vulnerability to psychosis.

Avoid using marijuana/cannabis, if possible, as marijuana/cannabis may result in DUIs, and problems with attendance as you may stop caring about the consequences of missing class or failing assignments. If you find that you no longer care about your performance in your classes, seek out a medical healthcare professional for support and guidance related to your use of marijuana/cannabis.
Take your time. It can be hard to find the right dose with edibles or other derivatives. You may get much higher for much longer than you wanted to. To prevent this, use a small amount and wait at least one hour to feel the effects before using more.
Remember: If you feel different, you drive differently. Marijuana/cannabis can impair your motor coordination, judgment, and other skills related to safe driving. Wait at least 6 hours after using marijuana/cannabis before driving, biking, or performing other safety-sensitive activities. Depending on the quantity you have used, you need to wait longer.
Plan for a safe ride home. Driving impaired by any substance whether it is legal or illegal, is against the law in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, which means you can get a DUI if you are driving while impaired by marijuana/cannabis. You can designate a sober driver, give your keys to a trusted friend who is not under the influence, and/or use a ride-share service.

The 5 D's will help you understand how to respond safely, early, effectively, and with kindness.

Direct: Stop the person immediately if the behavior is dangerous. Take the substance away to keep them from drinking or using. Take their keys away to stop them from driving.
Distract: If the person is in a risky situation, invite them to join you in a safer environment and stay with them.
Delegate: Find someone else who can intervene – bar staff, an organization leader, or someone who knows the person better.
Delay: If you’re not able to intervene in the moment, and the problem isn’t urgent, follow up the next day to calmly share your concerns about how substance misuse is affecting them. What specific behaviors worried you?
Document: Take a screenshot if you see a concerning text or social media post and follow up.

Parent Resources

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Conducts research and provides information on the effects of alcohol on wellbeing and health, and works to reduce alcohol-related health problems.

SAMHSA - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

SAMHSA is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that leads public health efforts to advance mental and behavioral health across the country.

Nebraska Collegiate Prevention Alliance

This website provides support for campuses across Nebraska that are committed to reducing high-risk drinking, substance misuse, and related harms.

College Parents Matter

This website is designed to equip you with some tools and resources that will help you engage in effective communication with your student about alcohol and drugs.

This project is funded through the Strategic Prevention Framework – Partnerships for Success federal grant SP083671-01. No non-federal sources of funding support this project; it is 100% supported by federal dollars through a sub-award agreement with the Nebraska Department of Health and Services, Division of Behavioral Health. The contents of this publication are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of DHHS.